The Kite Runner Review

By Navy Navarro

When the Taliban outlawed kite-flying in Afghanistan, like everybody else I thought: “Gee, that’s cold.” But this movie forced me to face the fact that the Afghan people had turned kite-flying into a vicious blood-sport. Basically the idea is to wrap your string around the opponent’s string and metaphorically rip his balls off, then chase down his balls (kite), frame them and hang them on your wall.

So what happens if you have a kid who’s good at ripping the balls off other kids but has no balls himself? Obviously he has a big advantage, but in this case it still doesn’t keep him from getting his ass kicked all the way to San Francisco, where he finally grows a pair. Sound kinda gay? Well, I haven’t even mentioned the gayest scene in the film.

Unless you speak Dari, Pashtun, Urdu and English, (like me!), you may miss some of the subtleties here, but the kite-flying pretty much explains itself, though they could have simplified it, like “blue kite vs. red kite” instead of “multi-colored kite vs. multi-colored kite,” which is confusing in any language. And with all the CGI, would it have killed them to draw in the string? After all, that’s what does the damage.

Holding onto mine for dear life,

Navy

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