Changing Lanes Review (2002)

By Chad Jarrah

Changing Lanes: One wrong turn deserves another. That’s what the tagline reads to this so-called thriller starring Ben Affleck and Samuel L. Jackson. I personally believe ‘One irrational and ridiculously exaggerated response to a disappointing series of events deserves another’ is a more appropriate hook for this painful waste of good film.

The movie opens showcasing the decent characteristics of two men from opposite sides of the track, Gavin Banek (Ben Affleck) and Doyle Gipson (Samuel L. Jackson.) Gavin is a successful young lawyer working his way up the corporate ladder, while Doyle is a recovering alcoholic trying to win back his family by making things right. Very reasonable. Maybe these two characters can interact in some way. I got it — a car accident! Ok, now we’re getting somewhere. No. We get nowhere. The accident is very anti-climactic: blind spot, broken side mirror, no injuries, and minimal anger. Very lame. They don’t exchange information because they are late for meetings and off they go: Gavin to a court appearance and Doyle to his children’s custody hearing.

Because of their tardiness, they each get screwed at their meetings. From that point on, each man attempts to get back at the other for the respective dire predicament. This is where irrational thought begins to multiply. I understand where the argument ‘Don’t take it so seriously; it’s just a movie’ can come into play, but the decisions these characters make is beyond the realm of reason. What follows is my breakdown of the insanity that ensues.

Normal human response: Hi, my name is Gavin Banek. Yes, I should have exchanged insurance information with Doyle Gipson, but I was in a rush. Besides, I think that blank check I gave him is more than fair. Uh-oh, I think I accidentally left the file I need for my important meeting with Doyle during our accident. I should get his number, apologize, and ask to get my file back.

Gavin Banek’s response: I think I accidentally left the file I need for my important meeting with Doyle Gipson during our accident. I should hire a shady guy to erase all of Doyle Gipson’s important personal information, like bank accounts, social security number and home loan applications. That should convince him to give me my file.

Normal human response: My name is Doyle Gipson. What? This man erased my identity? That screwed up my chance at buying my first home! Since I have this file with all of this jerk’s information on it, and a detailed voicemail left by Gavin himself, telling me he erased my important information, I will report this to the police.

Doyle Gipson’s response: What? This man erased my identity? That screwed up my chance at buying my first home! First of all let me throw the bank’s computer that indicated I am now bankrupt out of the window. Now that that’s settled, let me take every lugnut off Gavin’s Mercedes and get him to meet me somewhere so I can watch him drive it. Who knows? Maybe he’ll die!

Normal human response: Hey, it’s me Gavin again. Do you know this bastard tried to kill me? What the hell! Well that’s it. His prints must be all over my car. I suppose I shouldn’t have erased his ID, but I have to man up and get the police involved.

Gavin Banek’s response: Do you know this bastard tried to kill me? What the hell! Well that’s it. I’m going to have a message delivered to Doyle telling him his children are in grave danger, then go to their school and tell the counselor that Doyle is an unfit parent and deranged in the head. Hopefully he’ll come here to check on his kids and get arrested. Tee-hee.

Normal human response: Gavin here. This guy has my file, which will get me sent to jail if I don’t get it back and has attempted to murder me. I’m sick of this! If I see him, at the very least, I’ll punch him in the face.

Normal human response: Doyle here. Do you know this Banek guy made me late for my meeting that made me lose custody of my kids, stole my identity and then threatened my children? I’m sick of this! If I see him, at the very least, I’ll punch him in the face.

The responses of Gavin Banek and Doyle Gipson: After all you’ve put me through, we finally meet again. I AM GONNA F***IN…be friends with you? Sure, why not? I apologize for trying to get you sent to jail and trying to kill you. Oh that old thing? Water under the bridge my good friend. I too am sorry for the fraud I committed and threatening your kids. Gotcha! Ha, ha, ha! I love you!

Both Gavin and Doyle’s responses were far-fetched and ridiculous, even in the make-believe world of movies. Besides, if they really wanted to torture each other, they could have taken a far more direct and effective route - make him watch this movie. I would have gladly succumbed to jail time, an attempt at my life, identity theft, and/or a target on my children, all for the chance to avoid watching this turd of a movie again.

© LameMovies.net