Pootie Tang Review

By Chad Jarrah

I’ve always wanted to see this movie, although I’m not quite sure why. I heard it was about a pimp/crime fighter and I thought that was a funny idea; maybe that was why. Also, it’s called “Pootie Tang”; that had to have something to do with my fascination. Despite these tempting qualities I never saw it. I could always see myself saying with a laugh ‘Hey I just saw Pootie Tang! Can you believe it?’ but I never could imagine saying the words that were a necessary precursor: ‘Anybody in the mood to rent Pootie Tang?’

I knew Chris Rock had some involvement with this film, but after investigating a bit further I found that many other comedians I admired played parts in the movie. It was written by Louis C.K., and other comedians such as David Cross, Dave Attell, Wanda Sykes, Andy Richter, and Mario Joyner were part of the cast. With that kind of talent it must be good, right? Wrong! I wanted to like it, I really did. And I did at first. Pootie Tang is seen whipping drug dealers with his belt with ninja-like speed, and knocking bullets down with his surprisingly resilient ponytail. I was instantly enamored, and prepared myself for a cinematic treat the likes of which I had never seen before. But alas, like most fantasies, the idea was more satisfying than the act itself.

I had my notepad ready to jot down things to make fun of and characters to tear into, but all I did was wait. Wait and doodle. I tried to make sense of Pootie Tang’s language - “Sa da Tay” and “Capatown.” What is that? I know I’m not supposed to understand it, but is it supposed to be funny? My notes soon turned into a cow. It was the side view of a cow and it had some black spots on it. I think I made the tail too long, but all in all, pretty good. Now, I’ll add some horns. Wait, Chad, you need to be watching the movie. Focus, man!

I looked up just in time to watch Pootie rub cherry pie all over his body. I quickly turned away to get started on a tree. No fruit on the tree, just leaves; maybe a bird on one of the branches. Frustrated with myself, I looked up again to observe an inspirational speech by Chris Rock who played Pootie’s dead father. Only he was dressed as a stalk of corn when he gave Pootie his words of wisdom. Huh?

I think the plot of the movie was this: Pootie is good. “The Man” is bad. Pootie fights “The Man” but is tricked by “The Man’s” ho. She steals Pootie’s belt. He becomes disillusioned and goes to a farm to find himself. He succeeds in finding himself and defeats “The Man.” I know you must have many questions, but you need only concern yourself with one: “How can 70 minutes be so long?”

If there is a shred of light that shines through the menacing cloud that is Pootie Tang, it is the dance sequences. I liked when Pootie danced, and also when Wanda Sykes, A.K.A. Biggie Shorty, attempted to. She gyrated in some weird and rhythmless voodoo rain dance in almost every scene she entered. That was pretty funny. Otherwise a big pass on Pootie Tang. All you’ll be left with are a mysterious 70 minute time gap and one question: “Did I just see Pootie Tang?”

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