24
Mar
By Jonathan Frey
I will spare you the fanfare for this inaugural installment of THE TIPPY TOP, a recurring and possibly regular Top [insert number here] feature here at LameMovies.net, suffice it to say that, had not Fred Savage grown into a reasonably attractive man in recent years, I would still be operating under the circa [...]
24
Mar
By Scott Lipsig
I knew it.
I knew it, and you were all wrong.
“Oh, it’s a great movie. You’ll love it.”
Well, it isn’t, and I don’t.
It isn’t a side-splitter, a wit-laden political commentary or even a special effects showcase. It’s just another spoiled film, albeit one with a worthy cast.
By Jake Dee
Director: James Foley
Starring: Halle Berry, Bruce Willis
Released: 2007
Oh the woes of Oscar winning actors! The great Alan Arkin has said on more than one occasion that after his achievement for supporting actor Little Miss Sunshine, he couldn’t get work for an entire following year. His advice to Academy Award winners; do [...]
24
Mar
By Nattalie Crawford
**Spoilers Herein**
In the quiet town of Verplank, NY, nothing seems taboo. The car of choice seems to be the Yugo and the lawnscapers seem to out number the lawns. Nothing can upset this quaint little town. Not even when well known Mona Dearly, played by Bette Midler, careens off a bridge to [...]
24
Mar
By Matthew Erickson
Here are some more of those tasty, little Movie Review Haikus for your reading pleasure…
StarDust
Beyond wall, falls Star
Witch, boy and bad prince seek her
Ends better than book
24
Mar
By Nattalie Crawford
Every one needs that one feel good movie to turn to when everything else seems hopeless. Well folks, heres your movie. Now don’t judge this book by its cover. Sure it has Hilary Duff and Chad Michael Murray in it and looks to be like any other cheesy Disney movie. But look closer [...]
24
Mar
By Margaret Andrews
Watching The X from Outer Space, whose original Japanese title is Uchû daikaijû Girara, is like watching your son’s first magic show. When he was seven. He swirled his wand around and abracadabra-ed while a white dove wing peeked out of his sleeve and the rabbit periodically escaped from the hat before its [...]
By John Jones
Synopsis: Mike Enslin is a man who wants to prove there is nothing beyond here and now. No afterlife… No God… No second chances… Or are there?
I found the scariest thing about this big screen adaption of Stephen King’s short horror story is not the fact that the title almost adds up to [...]
19
Mar
By Mitchell Dean
Rated: R
Running Time: 95 minutes
Directed by: George A. Romero
Written by: George A. Romero
Cast: Michelle Morgan, Joshua Close, Shawn Roberts
Opens: February 15, 2008
Rating: The Beat Down (Horrible)
Poor George A. Romero; he is holding on to a career that has left him a very long time ago. Diary of the Dead comes off feeling like [...]
19
Mar
By Jake Dee
Director: Simon West
Starring: Camilla Belle, Tommy Flanagan
Released: 2006
When a Stranger Calls is just another pearl in the endless string of sub-par horror remakes that Hollywood shucks by the boat load. Only this time, instead of remaking the entire storyline, they took about a 15 minute snippet from the original and tried to [...]
19
Mar
By Mitchell Dean
Rated: PG-13
Running Time: 109 minutes
Directed by: Roland Emmerich
Written by: Roland Emmerich, Harald Kloser
Cast: Steven Strait, Camilla Belle, Cliff Curtis, Joel Virgel, Omar Sharif
Opens: March 7, 2008
Rating: The Beat Down (Horrible)
10,000 BC is 109 minutes to long!
Roland Emmerich will forever be known as the only director that can hit or miss so tremendously. He [...]
19
Mar
By Chad Jarrah
“Maybe the girl got a brutha uptown with nine inches of ding dong knockin’ the bottom out your ass.”
- Bunz, Booty Call
I realized I liked Booty Call when I rewound this part (three times!) to make sure I heard that line just right. Not only did it make me laugh, but it [...]
19
Mar
By Corisa Moreno
Have you ever watched Little Shop of Horrors and thought, I love this movie, I must find out more about it, and then you do some research on the internet and discover that the musical was based on a 1960’s Roger Corman low-budget movie called The Little Shop of Horrors and then you [...]
14
Mar
By Matthew Erickson
Next
Predict my boredom.
Classic Dick turned sub-par Nick.
Can the editor.
14
Mar
By Alex Del Negro
It is a very rare and often wondrous thing when a work of film manages to transcend the boundaries of the medium in which it is created. When it inexplicably moves beyond the mere faculties of light and sound to produce an experience altogether greater than the sum of its rather [...]