Attack of the Mushroom People, aka Matango (Japan, 1963) Review

By Andrea Baylis

It was one of those nights when had I read the entire internet. Twice. I was bored with the movies I own. I was bored with all my glorious cable television channels. And I was sure there wasn’t a damn thing on. That’s when I discovered Attack of the Mushroom People for free online. Free. It seemed to be the last page of the internet I had not found.

According to IMDB, Attack of the Mushroom People has several alternate titles:
Curse of the Mushroom People, Fungus of Terror, and Matango: Fungus of Terror. When I read that, “Holy crap,” I thought, this is gonna be effing sweet.

Synopsis:
In the land of Japan it’s Samurais and sushi
It’s Korea, not here, where they make the kim-chee
But our story starts out with a pleasant boat trip
Into the sunset they drift, some attached at the hip
Friendly travelers we have on the dusty film reel
In the end some will die for some you will feel
Romance and fun and drinks all around
Cajoling and teasing a common compound
That first night at sea proved a big mess
Whirling high waters makes one feel the stress
A bitch of a hell storm packs a mighty thud
Sooner before later, they’ll be covered in mud
Cut to day two on a mysterious isle
Their little tugboat now just a pile
Exploring and exploring just to get a sense
Of how to maintain or perhaps build some tents
A rusty old boat on the isle was found
Deserted she was and washed aground
Refuge was taken from the outdoors
Stay here they agreed, let’s forage for more
With Bunsen’s and burners all about that sea craft
This movie, oh yes! a bona fide guarantee, the art of daft
They discovered right then that this was a science tank
They looked at each other and each drew a blank
Befuddled and forlorn our friends soon grew weary
Little sleep was had as their eyes became bleary
The castaways searched for any signs of life
A turtle, a dog, or even a wife
They were alone on that isle but not for long
By the end of the movie it’s a creepy singsong
Some mysterious foodstuffs they promised not to eat
Was it poison or fruit or maybe just meat?
One night a gal woke looking through a porthole
Something looked back or was it a mole?
Something was there with an ooey staring face
ACK! She screamed and woke up the damn place
Her friends found her crazy and little bats**t
Does she have ‘the fever,’ is it just a girl fit?
The rest carried on while outside the scary goons
The castaways brushed her aside as pure looney tunes
One by one they soon fell and took off in the night
Why, what happened? Did something cause a big fright?
Ah ha! I proclaimed as the answer became clear
They were eating the strange stuff, nope not beer
The crew before them, the science type peeps
They had the stuff too and turned into creeps
Wandering and moaning and searching for blood
They’d morphed into ‘shrooms– way different than bud
Our lost Asian friends had gone wild, run amok
Fungi they were now, they were plum out of luck

Review:

If you like old movies with subtitles and things
No rappers in this one, no dudes with bling
Just a 60s fun romp with a monster plot
If you eat shiitakes, this one will get you hot
I say I say with relative ease
Mantango is fun, your eyes it will please
Don’t expect much because it’s not there
The premise is simple it sure ain’t no bear
Dumbass castaways and hungry mushrooms
Hungry for meat, the crew is totally like doomed
Not enough movies about produce I think
Is there one about a man-eating mink?

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