By Lee Arcuri
Q&A about Cloverfield.
Q: What is Cloverfield about?
A: A monster that attacks New York City.
Q: What else happens?
A: Zero else.
Q: What is the monster?
A: I don’t know.
Q: You don’t know because you weren’t paying attention?
A: I don’t know because they don’t tell you.
Q: So what does the monster want?
A: I don’t know.
Q: Where does the monster come from?
A: I don’t know.
Q: Why is the monster here?
A: I don’t know.
Q: Does the monster have a plan?
A: I don’t know.
Q: Why is it called Cloverfield?
A: I don’t know.
Q: You don’t know anything.
A: That’s not a question.
Q: You don’t know anything, do you?
A: Shut up.
Q: Well, is there anything you do know about the monster?
A: I think it is green. And angry. Very angry.
Q: Are there, like, characters or anything?
A: Yes.
Q: And?
A: And what.
Q: Are you going to talk about them?
A: Um. I guess not. No point really.
Q: What’s the theme of Cloverfield?
A: Man vs. Himself.
Q: Really?
A: Why not.
Q: I hear the camera work is interesting.
A: Nobody cares what you think.
Q: But that’s the gimmick, right? It’s supposed to be someone’s video camera recording the attack, right?
A: Yeah, it made me sick.
Q: You didn’t like it?
A: No, I mean, it literally made me sick. Motion sick.
Q: Kind of like The Blair Witch Project?
A: Kind of like if The Blair Witch Project was shot by someone with Parkinson’s Disease.
Q: Is that a clever and insensitive way of saying the camera work was shaky?
A: Take your Dramamine before you go.
Q: What’s Dramamine?
A: It’s a motion sickness medicine.
Q: Aha. So you were trying to be clever again.
A: Can I go now?
Q: I’m asking the questions.
A: I’m going now.
© LameMovies.net
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