20
Apr
By Andrea Baylis
I really kind of hate myself for liking a Jenny McCarthy movie.
A coworker loaned me a copy of this movie and I was reluctant to watch. As soon as the dreaded words Jenny McCarthy were uttered, I squished up my nose and thought, ‘No effing way.’ She’s the annoying large-breasted cackling blonde gal [...]
18
Apr
By Chad Jarrah
“Oh my God, I couldn’t believe that happened at the end!”
- Chad Jarrah
“The killer was so creepy; that guy freaked me out through the whole movie.”
- Chad Jarrah
“A rip roaring thriller! You’ll jump out of your seat so much, you’ll wish the theater had seat belts!”- Chad Jarrah
16
Apr
The Lil’Picture ShowBy Jonathan Frey
Click on Danny’s futuristically enhanced revolver for video fun.
12
Apr
The Lil’Picture ShowBy Jonathan Frey
Click on Courteney Cox’s addled terror for a PSA Video.
12
Apr
By Matthew Erickson
Hello, here are a few more of those snappy little movie review haikus. First up is a block of Quentin Tarantino flicks:
Jackie Brown
Pam Grier got it still
Quentin Caper deftly wove
soultastic soundtrack
7
Apr
By Jake Dee
Director: Richard Loncraine
Starring: Harrison Ford, Paul Bettany
Released: 2006
What has become of Harrison Ford? Han Solo, Indiana, Rick Deckard, I mean the guy was the 80s quintessence of cool, bad ass on screen personae. I bet if one looks hard enough, they can trace the roots of his downfall right at that cutesy [...]
6
Apr
By Chad Jarrah
‘Baby Genius: Underwater Adventures, I am gonna tear you apart!’ That was my thought as I opened the case to this educational DVD for infants. I’ve always been opposed to the fictional characters of children’s television with their strange subliminal agendas. In any other context of life when you see purple dinosaurs and [...]
3
Apr
By Jake Dee
Director: Martin Scorsese
Starring: Griffin Dunne, Rosanna Arquette
Released: 1985
Marty Scorsese’s work is synonymous with a dark, gritty realism. Usually steeped in the crime or gangster genre, Scorsese actually takes many of his cues from one of the originators of independent cinema John Cassavetes, where themes and characters transcend category; instead representing an honest [...]
3
Apr
By Matthew Erickson
Here are a couple more Movie Review Haikus for you….
Lawrence of Arabia
Epic in all sense.
Sandstruck Brit get Arab Tribes
To fight for self rule.
3
Apr
By Chad Jarrah
Albert Einstein was a German-born physicist. He was really smart. Young Einstein grew up in Tasmania, had a squeaky voice and was obsessed with apples. He was really annoying. I know this movie was purposefully inaccurate from a historic point of view, and I am fine with that, but at least make up [...]
24
Mar
By Jonathan Frey
I will spare you the fanfare for this inaugural installment of THE TIPPY TOP, a recurring and possibly regular Top [insert number here] feature here at LameMovies.net, suffice it to say that, had not Fred Savage grown into a reasonably attractive man in recent years, I would still be operating under the circa [...]
24
Mar
By Scott Lipsig
I knew it.
I knew it, and you were all wrong.
“Oh, it’s a great movie. You’ll love it.”
Well, it isn’t, and I don’t.
It isn’t a side-splitter, a wit-laden political commentary or even a special effects showcase. It’s just another spoiled film, albeit one with a worthy cast.
By Jake Dee
Director: James Foley
Starring: Halle Berry, Bruce Willis
Released: 2007
Oh the woes of Oscar winning actors! The great Alan Arkin has said on more than one occasion that after his achievement for supporting actor Little Miss Sunshine, he couldn’t get work for an entire following year. His advice to Academy Award winners; do [...]
24
Mar
By Nattalie Crawford
**Spoilers Herein**
In the quiet town of Verplank, NY, nothing seems taboo. The car of choice seems to be the Yugo and the lawnscapers seem to out number the lawns. Nothing can upset this quaint little town. Not even when well known Mona Dearly, played by Bette Midler, careens off a bridge to [...]
24
Mar
By Matthew Erickson
Here are some more of those tasty, little Movie Review Haikus for your reading pleasure…
StarDust
Beyond wall, falls Star
Witch, boy and bad prince seek her
Ends better than book