By Navy Navarro

You can imagineer the meeting at Disney^TM on this one. As usual, the suits put on their Mickey Mouse^TM ears and sit around a big cauldron to stir up trouble. Also as usual, they start by looking at what they already own and can squeeze more money© out of. So they look again at the Disneyland^TM rides: Pirates^TM, Haunted House^TM, Mr. Toad^TM, etc., and somebody eventually says, “What about Cinderella^TM©? We haven’t trotted her out in awhile.” “And New York^TM–we own New York City^TM now, don’t forget.” So they come up with a story putting Cinderella^TM© in Times Square^TM.

continue reading "Enchanted Review"

By Bruce Sanborn

2007
Writer/Director-Werner Herzog
Stars-Christian Bale Steve Zahn Jeremy Davies

One of the many dilemmas in my life that I will never have to face is to be approached by Werner Herzog to shoot a film in the jungle, a venue he returns to in his latest film ‘Rescue Dawn’.

continue reading "Rescue Dawn"

By Nancy Johnson

There isn’t enough Cabernet Sauvignon to make me watch this again. Please why Nicolas Cage? No more please! Your monotone voice and the beady eyes, they haunt me at night, or is that my cat? “National Treasure” starts with a history lesson with a grandfather and grandson. Ok cool. Let’s begin. I’m ready to learn.

continue reading "National Treasure, is there a category marked “Boring”?"

By Kimberly Sabat

I don’t get what all the religious leaders are all worked up about with this movie. The same thing happened when HARRY POTTER came out. I guess getting kids to read nowadays isn’t cool, since movies like this and CHRONICLES OF NARNIA have sparked not only an interest in the flicks, but the books as well. Knowledge be damned! Ban free thinking! Funny, that’s just what the plot of this movie is about. Rising against a tyrannical ruling force. Just like V FOR VENDETTA, or 1984. But lets not kid ourselves, who’d be afraid of a little girl with a compass, a ferret, and a drunken bear?Well, that is basically the synopsis here. Children, animals, people, all fighting for freedom from a government bent on universal domination. The prime building blocks of a true award winning movie. With way better battles than I’ve had on the toilet when I had too much Mexican food, and a cooler soundtrack than the noise it makes when the plumbing becomes backed up, THE GOLDEN COMPASS is sure to win the hearts of kids and adults everywhere.

continue reading "The Golden Compass Review"

By Kimberly Sabat

Since high school, I always remembered Beowulf as the bad ass who disposed of the monster Grendel in that epic poem which no one understood. If the teacher told us he was so hot, maybe I would have paid more attention. But instead, a decade after my graduation, they came up with this cartoon-computergraphic-superimposed-over-real-actors film, to capture the excitement of all. And that is exactly what it does, my excitement was sucked straight through the television, and I was left wondering where it all was.Just the effect in itself was a cool idea, though it was hard to look at since the character’s mouths sometimes moved, across blank, still faces. Don’t your facial muscles move when you talk? Botox move over, we have found the recipe for wrinkle-free living. Cease to show emotion in your face, and you will be young forever.

continue reading "Beowulf Review"

By Yusuf Naqvi

A movie for the ages. A cinematic masterpiece. Other platitudes. A muscle-bound oaf and future governor. A camel getting punched in the face. There aren’t clipped phrases enough to quantify the merit of Conan the Barbarian, a movie I saw whilst inebriated and can only happily review under similar circumstances:

continue reading "Conan the Barbarian: This Review Brought to You by an Empty Bottle of Cognac"

By Kimberly Sabat

Did TRANSFORMERS transform your life after you watched it? Me neither. Though a few people raved about it to me, and swore I wouldn’t be disappointed if I saw it in the theater, I risked everlasting fulfillment in my life, and waited for it to come out on dvd instead. The risk saved me $9.

continue reading "Transformers Review"