By James Fagan

No surprise here, this movie rocks your face off. If you have a problem with that, if you don’t like your face being rocked right off of your head, then just don’t go.

Step Up works just like porn. Get from one dance scene to the other with as little complicated a plot as possible and everyone can have a good time. Plus, the characters of Step Up 2: The Streets are all wearing just around the same amount of clothes as they would in Step Up 2: The Porn.

continue reading "Step Up 2: The Streets Review"

By Rob Rector

A great marketing tagline for “Jumper” could have been: Jumper: It’s “Highlander” for the myspace generation! Both feature leaps through space (and logic), centuries-old rivalries, and an acting vacuum for a lead (Christopher Lambert in ‘Highlander,’ Hayden Christensen in ‘Jumper’), and both are a laughable assault on the intellect (but ‘Jumper” lacks that groovin’ Queen soundtrack).
Jumper may also be notable for no other reason than Samuel L. Jackson managed to wear a more bizarre wig than his Gumby model he sported for “Unbreakable” a few years back.

continue reading "Jumper (2008) Review"

By Turhon Stewart

I, Turhon J Stewart, promise to give accurate and unbiased account of all films.

“Now how do I begin?” That’s what the Director of this movie must have said. The compilation of bad humored shorts and terrible timing have given this film the same ability to succeed as Bush’s book of spelling . Now from the start of the film the rush to fit big movie jokes into just a few moments seemed to be apparently to much for the director. It seemed almost as if the producer threw a collage of bad jokes at the director and said make a stew, and the director just couldn’t find the flavor. Now, this is not to say that the whole movie was not funny or that some of the concepts for humor were not admirable at best. I am just saying that the minor funny parts of the movie had already been seen in the commercials and were not the whole scenes. When one went into the theater to see the movie already laughing at the shorts they saw in the trailer it looked as if we were about to see the first hit comedy of the year, then the first scene came on and that idea went out of the window, or should I say the theater along with the patrons. The last movie that I went to where the people left faster than they came in was lake placid. Need I say more! To add insult to injury the base running joke of the film was 300 a movie that was actually good. The innuendo of their leader being gay as a running gag was poorly played written and acted, in short they just tried way to hard without direction.

continue reading "Meet the Spartans Review"

By Paul Bennett, A.K.A. Cralion

Sylvester Stallone’s Rambo 2008 wasn’t disappointing! It was as entertaining as the three that preceded it, and just as full of murder and mayhem. It isn’t recommended for children under age 13, or for the squeamish if blood, guts and gore aren’t your fare. However, for the teenagers of the 70’s, and to the geriatric set watching an aged Rambo hot-foot-it through the jungle gave much needed life to some of their pacemaker driven hearts. I dare say he rivaled the speed of Superman and the Flashes as he raced to outrun a bomb blast…that he caused!

continue reading "Rambo (2008) Review"

By James Fagan

Cloverfield is a testament to the human will to survive, the determination of mind of matter, and the realization that with the right amount of motivation man can do anything.

I’m not talking about the plot; I’m talking about my ability to make it through the entire thing without vomiting.

continue reading "Cloverfield Review"

By Lee Arcuri

Q&A about Cloverfield.

Q: What is Cloverfield about?
A: A monster that attacks New York City.

Q: What else happens?
A: Zero else.

continue reading "Cloverfield: Q & A"

By Lori Peters

OK, maybe this movie should have been called the (F…IT list) - rhymes with bucket. Well, read on then you decide. Now, you figure two Oscar winners, Jack Nicholson (the nut villain in Batman - the Joker, the scary nut in The Shining and the lobotomized nut in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest ) and Morgan Freeman, who everyone knows is God’s stand in have to make an entertaining movie. Rob Reiner at 60 directs The Bucket List with finesse and style.

continue reading "The Bucket List Review"

By Mitchell Dean

Rated: R
Running Time: 158 minutes
Directed by: Paul Thomas Anderson
Written by: Paul Thomas Anderson (Screenplay), Upton Sinclair (Novel)
Cast: Daniel Day-Lewis, Paul Dano, Ciaran Hinds
Opens: January 11th, 2008

MITCH SLAPS: 3 out of 3 (Based on how bad a film is; 0 Mitch Slaps is great; 3 Mitch Slaps is horrible)

Images and music; that’s how the film begins and after what seems like an eternity of not knowing who, what, why, when or where, we finally here some dialog…NO! We guess that the setting is somewhere in the West. We guess that these miners are adventurers, possibly even pioneers and at first we might think they are searching for gold. The reality is that they ARE searching for gold; black gold, texas tease, the type of rich stuffs that made Jed a millionaire…OIL!

continue reading "There Will Be Blood Review"

By Navy Navarro

Ha ha ha–the United States’ foreign policy is really insane. I’m cracking up. One guy on one committee in Congress can start a war and who knows where it will end? I’m laughing out loud, I’m rolling on the floor.

continue reading "Charlie Wilson’s War Review"

By Nancy Johnson

Walk, run, go see this movie. What do you do when you accidentally cut your brother in half and you want to redeem yourself? You sing songs with sexual innuendos and have tons of kids, that’s what you do. I found this movie cute and refreshing but a bit too long at times even at 96 minutes but well worth the money.

continue reading "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story Review"

By Navy Navarro

So I’m watching Juno and enjoying the heck out of it when this actress comes on in a bit part as a receptionist and I say, “Hey, I know her from somewhere. That’s Sue from Da Vinci’s Inquest! (actress Emily Perkins) Hey, wait a minute! She’s from Vancouver! Which is in Canada!” So then I’m REALLY suspicious and find out the director’s from Canada and so is the lead actress AND the lead actor.

continue reading "Juno Review"

By Margaret Andrews

Who else but Tim Burton to direct the latest film incarnation of Sweeney Todd? In fact, this movie is laden with Who-Else’s from the casting of his children’s mother, Helena Bonham Carter as Mrs. Lovett, to Johnny Depp as the ghastly throat-slicing demon barber of Fleet Street. Also, with Professor Snape and the Sheriff of Nottingham on his resume, Alan Rickman was a given to play Judge Turpin. The casting director could have done this one in his sleep. The only Who-Else left out in the cold was Burton’s soundtrack man, Danny Elfman, but with Stephen Sondheim hogging the original musical composition, what would Elfman contribute?

continue reading "Sweeney Todd is a Beautiful Bloody Mess"

By Jim Fagan

Mostly, this movie about three singing chipmunks is convincingly horrible. My girlfriend, whose singing chipmunk standards are not exceedingly high, went in excitedly giggling and left comatose- so talk about losing your target audience.

continue reading "Alvin and the Chipmunks, 2007 Review"

By Roberto Alvarenga

AVP-R is that classic case of what happens when you let fans direct a film. Maybe the pressure to make a bloodier, scarier, and more action-packed follow-up to the original movie got to be too much for the directing Strause Brothers. Maybe it’s the writer’s fault (I hear that when in doubt, blame the writer). Unfortunately, we may never know who is to blame because there are that many things that is wrong with this film. As a fan of both the monster franchises, you want to see a film that can delve more into the mythos of both these iconic creatures and still keep the pulse pounding sci-fi action you are accustomed to. Aside from a few new teases, what we get is Evil Dead 2 featuring Aliens and Predator. You even get a knock off version of Bruce Campbell to boot.

continue reading "“Get To Da Exit!” - Aliens vs. Predator: Requiem"

By Kimberly Sabat

I don’t get what all the religious leaders are all worked up about with this movie. The same thing happened when HARRY POTTER came out. I guess getting kids to read nowadays isn’t cool, since movies like this and CHRONICLES OF NARNIA have sparked not only an interest in the flicks, but the books as well. Knowledge be damned! Ban free thinking! Funny, that’s just what the plot of this movie is about. Rising against a tyrannical ruling force. Just like V FOR VENDETTA, or 1984. But lets not kid ourselves, who’d be afraid of a little girl with a compass, a ferret, and a drunken bear?Well, that is basically the synopsis here. Children, animals, people, all fighting for freedom from a government bent on universal domination. The prime building blocks of a true award winning movie. With way better battles than I’ve had on the toilet when I had too much Mexican food, and a cooler soundtrack than the noise it makes when the plumbing becomes backed up, THE GOLDEN COMPASS is sure to win the hearts of kids and adults everywhere.

continue reading "The Golden Compass Review"