By Chad Jarrah

The fact that a human being can formulate something this unbelievably stupid boggles the mind. I’m almost afraid to discuss Mulva: Zombie Ass Kicker! because the curiosity of how bad this garbage is might spurn others to watch it. This has happened before and will happen again. Case in point: “Two girl’s one cup.” Therefore instead of reviewing it I will simply complain and then give a list of better things to do with your time. (Editor’s note: We do not condone anyone viewing or searching for “two girls one cup”. It is not recommended for anyone. Ever.)

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By Turhon Stewart

I, Turhon J Stewart, promise to give accurate and unbiased account of all films.

“Now how do I begin?” That’s what the Director of this movie must have said. The compilation of bad humored shorts and terrible timing have given this film the same ability to succeed as Bush’s book of spelling . Now from the start of the film the rush to fit big movie jokes into just a few moments seemed to be apparently to much for the director. It seemed almost as if the producer threw a collage of bad jokes at the director and said make a stew, and the director just couldn’t find the flavor. Now, this is not to say that the whole movie was not funny or that some of the concepts for humor were not admirable at best. I am just saying that the minor funny parts of the movie had already been seen in the commercials and were not the whole scenes. When one went into the theater to see the movie already laughing at the shorts they saw in the trailer it looked as if we were about to see the first hit comedy of the year, then the first scene came on and that idea went out of the window, or should I say the theater along with the patrons. The last movie that I went to where the people left faster than they came in was lake placid. Need I say more! To add insult to injury the base running joke of the film was 300 a movie that was actually good. The innuendo of their leader being gay as a running gag was poorly played written and acted, in short they just tried way to hard without direction.

continue reading "Meet the Spartans Review"

By Nattalie Crawford

“You know a lot of people say that college is a time when young men and women expand the way that they look at their world when they open their mind to new ideas and experiences and when they begin that long journey form the innocence of Youth, to the responsibilities of Adulthood… now isn’t that a load of horse s***! AHAHAHAHA!” Lewis Black in Accepted

Ah, that time in a young persons life when it all comes together and they set off for college. Its supposed to be the greatest time in ones life…right?…

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By Lee Arcuri

There are certain movies that pretty much demand a drinking game be involved. If you’re on the lookout for a new one, this is your flick. Or if you and your friends are hanging out and perhaps you all, for no particular reason that I would ever endorse in print, have the munchies. Or, you know, like maybe you have a severe injury, and your doctor prescribed in a totally legal fashion some powerful pain killers. And you are taking a high dose of said pain killers. Or maybe you drank some cough syrup with codeine in it. Any of these circumstances would be a great time to rent this movie.

continue reading "Killer Pad Review"

By Navy Navarro

Remember when Marlon Brando tried to do a musical? And remember when Chaplin attempted a straight dramatic role? And who can forget Silvester Stallone in that string of non-Rocky, non-Rambo parts, playing characters whose names didn’t even begin with R, for cryin’ out loud?!

continue reading "The Hottie and The Nottie"

By David S. Grant

Waiting is an entertaining movie. Even the most uptight (think Newt Gingrich) will crack a smile during this movie. The issue is that this movie has already been done. It was called Clerks the first time, and Clerks II (for those that acknowledge this sequel), the second time. We didn’t need Waiting, we didn’t even need Clerks II.

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By Chad Jarrah

I’ve always wanted to see this movie, although I’m not quite sure why. I heard it was about a pimp/crime fighter and I thought that was a funny idea; maybe that was why. Also, it’s called “Pootie Tang”; that had to have something to do with my fascination. Despite these tempting qualities I never saw it. I could always see myself saying with a laugh ‘Hey I just saw Pootie Tang! Can you believe it?’ but I never could imagine saying the words that were a necessary precursor: ‘Anybody in the mood to rent Pootie Tang?’

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By David GrantIf you are looking for a mind bending movie this is not what you want to see. Two women (Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet) switch houses (one in L.A., the other outside of London) and hilarity ensues. That is if your definition of hilarity is an improbable story line and Jude Law.

continue reading "The Holiday Review"

By Richard Mims

Did you know that License to Wed is an anagram for “this movie wet the bed”, OK maybe not but it should be. The main characters in this cinematic epic drama of two star-crossed young lovers, desperate to marry, (I’m not sure why, she’s not knocked up) and seemingly foiled by Reverend Frank and his el-lamo Marriage Preparation H Course (I’m sorry, delete the H), are Ben (played by John Krasinski) and Sadie (Mandy Moore).

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By Rob Rector

I no longer fear the icy grip of death, for I have endured and lived to review, the magnum opus known as “Illegal Aliens” a.k.a “How to Draw Blood from Anna Nicole’s Corpse.”

If you thought that there was no way the weight battling train-wreck of a fringe celebrity known as Anna Nicole Smith could embarrass herself any more than she had on her infamous “Anna Nicole” reality show on E!, well… you’re right.

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By Chad Jarrah

When Good Luck Chuck was released in theaters, I shrugged it off as I would an episode of ABC’s Cavemen. When the Unrated version of Good Luck Chuck came out on DVD, I gave it as much thought as a runny nosed third grader would give to a Kleenex. But when the movie arrived on a roommate’s NetFlix account on the same day I was beginning my basement organization project, Chuck suddenly became a top priority.

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By Lori Peters

OK, maybe this movie should have been called the (F…IT list) - rhymes with bucket. Well, read on then you decide. Now, you figure two Oscar winners, Jack Nicholson (the nut villain in Batman - the Joker, the scary nut in The Shining and the lobotomized nut in One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest ) and Morgan Freeman, who everyone knows is God’s stand in have to make an entertaining movie. Rob Reiner at 60 directs The Bucket List with finesse and style.

continue reading "The Bucket List Review"

By Margaret Andrews

Often times, the quality of a Hollywood movie is inversely proportional to the number of high-caliber celebrities it contains therein. If a movie relies on star power for its box office draw, it may very well rely on that star power alone. The dialog does not need to be original or very funny, not with stand-up comics in the cast. And you don’t need the best story or character development when you’ve got enough fire balls and potty jokes to keep it afloat.

continue reading "Wild Hogs Is a Wild Ride, For Some"

By Nancy Johnson

Walk, run, go see this movie. What do you do when you accidentally cut your brother in half and you want to redeem yourself? You sing songs with sexual innuendos and have tons of kids, that’s what you do. I found this movie cute and refreshing but a bit too long at times even at 96 minutes but well worth the money.

continue reading "Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story Review"

By Navy Navarro

So I’m watching Juno and enjoying the heck out of it when this actress comes on in a bit part as a receptionist and I say, “Hey, I know her from somewhere. That’s Sue from Da Vinci’s Inquest! (actress Emily Perkins) Hey, wait a minute! She’s from Vancouver! Which is in Canada!” So then I’m REALLY suspicious and find out the director’s from Canada and so is the lead actress AND the lead actor.

continue reading "Juno Review"