http://www.lamemovies.net Thu, 31 Jul 2008 05:26:53 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en By Matthew Erickson Here are some more Movie review Haikus schlepped from this summers latest crop of wanna be blockbusters. Hold on to your hat Curtis, lest it be blown away. Indiana Jones 4 Que Song , Roll it Steve! For sixty, Indy moves well. Spacemen? come on George. The Strangers Liv's panties are off, middle of night and ... http://www.lamemovies.net/2008/07/summer-lovin-a-haiku-retrospective/ Director: Ernest Dickerson Starring: Adam Sandler, Damon Wayans Released: 1996 By Jake Dee It's safe to say Adam Sandler has done pretty well for himself. Over the past decade or so, the humble SNL alum has transcended into mega movie star status, recently sharing screen time with Hollywood heavyweights like Don Cheadle in ... http://www.lamemovies.net/2008/07/bulletproof-1996-review/ By Jake Dee It had been awhile since I last watched Robert Rodriguez's camping trip to the cheese factory; his unabashed b-movie homage The Faculty, released in 1998. It's a pretty bad but watchable flick about a deadly alien specie overtaking a Texas high school. Zeke (Hartnett), a smart ... http://www.lamemovies.net/2008/07/the-faculty-a-ten-year-reunion/ By Chad Jarrah When my cousin told me the premise behind Idiocracy, I nodded in approval. Why have I never heard of this movie? When I watched the old trailer for this movie on YouTube, I laughed, and again, I questioned myself: How could I have no recollection of having ever ... http://www.lamemovies.net/2008/07/idiocracy-2006-review/ By Matthew Erickson Dah De Dah Dah, Dah De dah.... Indiana is back, and this time he has a kid. It is time to pull your commemorative hat and whip out of the "special room" that you and your wife set up after the kid went to college and get your behind ... http://www.lamemovies.net/2008/05/indiana-jones-and-the-continuing-haiku-athon/ By Matthew Erickson Here is another trio of movie review haikus... La Vie En Rose France's first popstar's troubled life, cut short, shown through run-around flashbacks. Chumscrubber Pills, teens, suicide busy parent drink too much It's the suburbs. Thumbsucker A sensitive teen with embarrassing habit takes steps to grow up. Wait a minute, thats not it. This week and this week only I have ... http://www.lamemovies.net/2008/05/the-98th-bi-mon-haiku-athon/ By Jake Dee Director: Martin Weisz Starring: Jessica Stroup, Michael McMillian Released: 2007 Well well, evidently Hollywood not only excretes mounds of movie remakes, but sequels to remakes are becoming more and more fashionable. Ocean's 11 gave way to Ocean's 12 three years later, and with failure nowhere in sight; it didn't take ... http://www.lamemovies.net/2008/05/jake-opts-for-the-hills-have-eyes-2-over-doing-something-else-regrets-it/ By Chad Jarrah If one were to gather a group of friends to compare opinions on great comedies, the only constant would be that opinions vary. I'm sure a few staple comedies would probably be included on most lists, like Old School and Tommy Boy, Animal House and Caddyshack but, otherwise, ... http://www.lamemovies.net/2008/05/joe-pesci-jesus-christ-superstar-chad-inspects-the-gem-known-as-the-super/ By Andrea Baylis Patrick Swayze is many things: philosophical bouncer and friend, dance instructor and passionate lover, surfer and arranger of bank heists, Hillbilly cop living in the big city, wise drag queen, and of course a proud and defiant WOLVERINE! Oh yes my friends, we're talking the Cold War classic ... http://www.lamemovies.net/2008/05/andrea-relives-the-80s-with-red-dawn/ The Lil'Picture ShowBy Jonathan Frey Click on Danny's loathed memories for some fast-paced video fun. The Captain's office sets the scene as Danny confronts Danny. Toes are stepped on, wars are waged within and without. © LameMovies.net http://www.lamemovies.net/2008/05/a-tale-of-two-dannys-the-flabby-midsection/ By Matthew Erickson Here is another batch of those movie reviews in the form of Haiku. Summer Of Sam New York gripped in fearas sun and Sam take their toll. Neither good nor bad. Summer of Sam star Leg-Zam in a straw Gaucho hat. Micheal Clayton Intricate thriller. "Niche" Lawyer finds ugly truth about big business. Bubba Ho-Tep Bruce is "bruce"tastic as ... http://www.lamemovies.net/2008/04/steve-haikutenberg-feat-john-leguizamo-and-george-clooney/ By Jake Dee Director: Dave Meyers Starring: Sean Bean, Sofia Bush Released: 2007 So I'm scraping my way through channels late night and I see The Hitcher listed. I'm like rad, Rutger Hauer is bad ass, even if only a mere five foot three (he's listed as 6'1" on imdb, but I ... http://www.lamemovies.net/2008/04/jake-sips-the-de-rutginated-the-hitcher-remake-finds-it-is-brewed-with-a-less-potent-bean/ By Andrea Baylis                               For the girls: Josh Hartnett looking cute all rosy cheeked and bundled up                               For the boys: bloodthirsty vampires (but no naked chicks or beer)                               For the ladies: a hint of a romance gone south                               For the dudes: an ax and a couple other fun big boy toys I confess, I had ... http://www.lamemovies.net/2008/04/andrea-does-40-days-and-40-nigh-i-mean-30-days-of-night-with-josh-hartnett/ By Andrea Baylis I really kind of hate myself for liking a Jenny McCarthy movie. A coworker loaned me a copy of this movie and I was reluctant to watch. As soon as the dreaded words Jenny McCarthy were uttered, I squished up my nose and thought, ‘No effing way.' She's the ... http://www.lamemovies.net/2008/04/andrea-makes-dirty-love-no-it-aint-your-daddys-porno/ By Chad Jarrah "Oh my God, I couldn't believe that happened at the end!" - Chad Jarrah "The killer was so creepy; that guy freaked me out through the whole movie." - Chad Jarrah "A rip roaring thriller! You'll jump out of your seat so much, you'll wish the theater had seat belts!"- Chad Jarrah These ... http://www.lamemovies.net/2008/04/chad-pins-a-corsage-of-shame-on-prom-night/